If you’re anything like me – your emotions can unpredictably skyrocket at any given notion. Up and down, happy and sad, loving something then hating it, energetic then exhausted – these extremes are a pattern of suffering that every human passes through at some point. Although these emotions are natural, the constant swings can disrupt our inner peace and let’s be honest – our sanity.
In order to gain a grasp on your emotions – it is essential to understand the difference between emotions and feelings. Very simply put, emotions are a product of the mind and based off of past thoughts. Feelings on the other hand, are recognized through the physical body and allow you to know what sensations are happening in the present moment. The most common phrase you have heard or felt as a woman: “I can’t control my emotions!” which only plummets us deeper into stress as we attempt to dismantle these mood swings.
Essentially – the fear-based energy in our human mind has been programmed to label every event in our lives as either good or bad. When you reach the authentic soul state of love – there is no judgment. In love energy – you trust that every moment is exactly how it is supposed to be because the Universe has orchestrated it. You begin to trust that the Universe doesn’t fuck up. Who are we – as humans – to judge or attempt to control what the Universe has presented us? It’s when the human ego mind dominates and makes judgments that we are led to instant switches into negative emotions such as sadness, anger, shame, etc.
When we feel blissful – we develop an attachment to this emotion and a pull towards things that ignite this. When we feel dispirited – we want to push away from whatever may be triggering these negative emotions. One causes longing if not achieved, and the other causes pain if not avoided – spiraling us into those up and down cycles of pre-conditioned patterns.
When you are out of balance, you will notice how many times a day you naturally gravitate towards things that make you happy and/or away from things you don’t like. This is a clear indication that you are giving your programmed mind and judgement patterns power over your authentic state of love. You know that you are balanced when external factors have no effect on your authentic state of bliss – therefore your emotions. Until we enter a state of balance – we are unable to reach lifelong harmony in our minds, bodies, or emotions.
Notice the impulse to gravitate towards or away from various things – and choose to remain neutral instead. Ask yourself – why do I feel the need to pull towards or away from this? You will notice the answer is simple – because you are putting the power of your emotions into external factors. You are relying on something outside of yourself to bring you either positive or negative emotions. Practice being content with whatever is happening, rather than seeking to have your personal agenda filled. This comes along with the concept of trusting the Universe and letting go of personal control. It may seem impossible to feel fulfilled regardless of the external situation – but when you are in touch with your soul energy there is no reliance on anything except what’s within yourself.
Allow yourself to remain compassionately present in circumstances that may feel uncomfortable or undesirable. I find it very useful to remind myself that only my human mind is making the judgement that this situation is negative – the Universe would tell me otherwise. Allow yourself to observe situations rather than allowing situations to control you and your state of peace. As you progress – you will realize that you are not learning anything new but only unlearning pre-conditioned patterns that have been humanly constructed.
Practicing even-mindedness will allow you to remain neutral rather than opinionated in all situations. You can strengthen this everyday by practicing non-reactivity to any forms of conflict and approaching with balance and peace. Your ego mind will attempt to dominate and continue judgement – but you are in the power to observe those thoughts and not react to them.
The answer is not to avoid or suppress emotions that arise – but allow them. That is, allow them in without power. I like to think of myself as a transparent sheet that emotions and thoughts pass through without disruption. All that an emotion is – is a triggered reaction to judgmental and labeled thoughts. Allow yourself to become consciously aware of any opinionated thoughts – identify and put them into words, therefor releasing their power.
We’ve been conditioned to overlook the importance of balancing our mental and spiritual needs – but doing so is crucial to our wellbeing. As long as we continue to judge and shame, we are feeding the disease that attempts to control and spark our heavy emotions.
Artwork by Christian McKoy.