How A Pessimist Began To Love Herself. (A Guide To Self-Love)

If you’re anything like me, then the thought of gazing at yourself in the mirror while repeating “you’re beautiful” makes you cringe. Here is my guide to self-love for those of us who have never picked up a crystal or meditated in our lives. 

Self-love does not mean you have to practice all sorts of spiritual healing or invest in over-priced rocks. Self-love is a feeling, simply the act of caring and accepting yourself unconditionally. Sometimes self-love may be lighting your favorite candle, allowing yourself rest because you deserve it, treating yourself without feelings of guilt. All of us know self-love is important and essential to creating your best self. Once you unlock the love in just being, you begin to love all the physical aspects about yourself you once believed were flawed. 

It’s not necessarily about learning to love every individual physical flaw of yourself. It’s about learning to love your whole entire being – your soul, your energy, your own presence. Think of everything you’ve done for yourself – nobody else did that shit for you. Nobody else feeds you, grooms you, gets you physically out of bed every single day. Your physical 3D body just wants you to be healthy, and works every millisecond to keep you alive and running. Who you are, is all you will ever be in this life. You may have other humans around you, but at the end of the night when they go to bed, it is solely you alone inside of yourself. Everybody around you is temporary – even family, except yourself. 

For those of you curious in starting meditation practice, don’t be fooled that the only way to meditate is to sit still and automatically clear your thoughts. There are many forms of meditation, involving physical body movement. It is not always realistic to believe that a newbie can part ways into nature, connect with the plants and be able to shut up their programmed mind. With practice, this comes very easily. For beginners, I recommend a walking meditation. All this is, is walking without any goal or destination. Just walk, be conscious of every breath and step. Thoughts will come, and if you’re like me, thoughts will come up like what the fuck are you doing, go back to work. When thoughts like this arise to me, I sometimes laugh out loud. The mind is funny as hell once you realize it has no power over you. You are allowed to have thoughts when meditating, the difference is you don’t react to these thoughts. You see them, but you disconnect from them. Observe them like a movie, and it can be quite entertaining. You can enter a meditative headspace through just about any action – household chores, exercising, dancing, listening to music, whatever keeps you physically occupied so you don’t have to focus on stilling yourself.

Disconnecting from your physical body allows you to disconnect from the illusions of the material world. You begin to view yourself as an energy body, not a physical 3D body. Your soul views no flaws, nor desires to look like anything else. You may even begin to view others as energy, and start to realize the lack of importance in physical qualities. I love myself, because I love my soul. Release the illusion that there are good souls and bad souls – each human’s soul is free and made of pure love. Events may have occurred in a persons’s life that caused the illusion of their mind to bury the love that’s present in their soul. This may lead them to believe they are incapable of love or self-love. All you have to do, is disconnect from the thoughts in the mind that allow you to believe you are unlovable or flawed to oneself. 

There is nothing self-centered about putting yourself first – you are not here initially for anybody else. You cannot help others achieve if you are not in your own highest power. Being an example is the best teacher, other’s will feel your healing energy. Just being in your physical presence will be enough to ease others, whether they are conscious of it or not.



Photography by Stephani Bonnefoy

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